Alive
by Longing for Oblivion
Summary: In the aftermath of Elle having been shot by Garner Hotch has not only to deal with feeling responsible for what happened, but also has to come to terms with the fact that he has fallen in love with his colleague and figure out what to do about it. Meanwhile Elle struggles to deal with what happened, an unexpected love confession and her own feelings...
1. Prologue

_**Discs.:**__ I don't own anything you recognize from Criminal Minds! Furthermore any resemblances with other fandoms, whether in regards to characters, events or other things are purely coincidental!  
__**Summary:**__ In the aftermath of Elle having been shot by Garner Hotch has not only to deal with feeling responsible for what happened, but also has to come to terms with the fact that he has fallen in love with his colleague and figure out what to do about it. Meanwhile Elle struggles to deal with what happened, an unexpected love confession and her own feelings...  
__**Pairings:**__ Hotch/Haley, Hotch/Elle, Morgan/Elle  
__**Genres:**__ Drama, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Angst  
__**Spoilers:**__ season 1 and early season 2 ("The Fisher King" Part 1 & 2, "Aftermath" and "Boogeyman" in particular)_  
_**Warnings:**__ contains sexual content, and like the show it also contains some violence - but nothing graphic/explicit  
__**A/N:**__ Being as this was my very first fanfiction and the fact that my style, grammar and spelling have improved since I first started writing it I recently decided to take the story down, look through it, edit if necessary and then repost it. There won't be any changes regarding the plot. Anyways, enjoy reading!_

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**Alive**

_Prologue_

As Hotch entered his house Haley came from the kitchen to welcome him.

"Hey." Hotch drew her into a tight embrace, giving her a soft kiss onto her lips.

Haley looked him straight into his eyes and asked,

"Where have you been? You wanted to be home almost two hours ago."

Hotch released her from his arms and replied,

"I'm really sorry, Haley. The paperwork took me longer than I thought and then I went to check on Elle."

He heard his wife sigh, she had probably already suspected that he had been at the hospital - again.

"How is she doing?"

"I guess a bit better, but so far she didn't wake up."

A small smile crossed Haley's face, then she told him, deciding to change the topic,

"Well, we can eat."

When they sat down at the dining-table he tried to get his troubles out of his head, at least for the time being.

"I hope you haven't been finished with cooking for too long." Hotch looked apologetic at his wife.

"You're lucky - I couldn't start cooking when I had planned to. And you have to thank your son for that..."

"What has Jack to do with it?" Hotch asked with a smile, relieved that Haley didn't seem mad at him.

"Well, let's just say he refused to get his sleep."

Haley returned his smile, happy that her husband was finally home. Ever since his colleague had been shot he had worked even more, plus he also spent a lot of time at the hospital, hoping for Elle to wake up. Well, of course she understood that he was worried about her, but nonetheless she wished he would spend more time with her and Jack.

"Haley, are you okay?" Hotch looked at her.

"Yeah... I was just thinking that's all." Haley smiled softly at him.

"Okay. How about we get some sleep?" They locked eyes and after a moment Haley started nodding.

After Haley had fallen asleep Hotch got up again and went downstairs. Once more he had trouble to sleep, unable to stop thinking about Elle.

He felt so guilty because he hadn't been able to protect her. It was driving him insane to know that all of this was his own fault. And once again he started wondering if Elle would be able to forgive him one day, after all, he wasn't even able to forgive himself for what happened - for what he had let happen... So how was Elle supposed to forgive him after he got her almost killed?

Hotch let out a heavy sigh. He wished Elle would finally wake up so he could talk with her, apologize to her. Hotch wanted nothing more than being at her bedside right now, but he knew that he couldn't do that.

However, it was a fact that Elle was all he could think about, no matter if he was working or at home, he just couldn't get her out of his mind and wanted to be close to her. It took him all his strength whenever he had to leave her and even then he wished he could go back to her room the same moment he had left.

The first week he had spent completely there, he hadn't left her bedside for more than a few minutes when he had gone to get some coffee to keep himself awake. And he knew that he won't have left if his colleagues hadn't dragged him out of her room after he had refused to leave for seven days - seven days during which he should have worked, but he hadn't nor had been home once.

Hotch felt terrible for spending not enough time with Haley and Jack and even worse for lying to her earlier that evening... He hadn't been late because of his paperwork, he had been late because he hadn't been able to bring himself to leave Elle early enough to be home on time.

Of course it wasn't like he didn't want to spend time with his family, but right now his main concern was Elle. And somehow he knew that that wasn't going to change anytime soon.

While he sat on the couch, thinking about Elle, Hotch wasn't aware that Haley had come down as well and was now standing right behind him.

"Aren't you tired?"

Hotch flinched as he heard his wife's voice, meanwhile Haley went to take a seat next to him.

"Aaron..." Haley said softly, while lifting a hand to his shoulder,

"What's wrong? You've been so distant and silent recently. I mean, of course I can understand that what happened to your colleague is getting to you, but I'm worried about you... It's tearing me apart to see you suffering like this and I just don't know what to do."

Hotch looked up at her, a sad smile crossed his face and he whispered,

"I'm sorry, Haley. I'm just worried..." He didn't mention how guilty he felt for what had happened to Elle, but a trace of it was still evident in his voice, along with regret.

"Aaron..."

"I sent her home, even though I could have let her simply get some sleep at the office. I knew that this guy was incredible dangerous yet I didn't bring her home myself or at least gave clearer instructions to Agent Anderson - if I had she won't have been shot."

"You thought you were doing the right thing, Aaron."

"Yeah, and got her almost killed."

"But she hasn't died - she will be fine..."

Hotch only shook his head. He knew that Haley just wanted to make him feel better, but it didn't change a damn thing. Elle had almost died because of his decision and there was no way he'd ever forgive himself - especially not as long as she didn't wake up.

"Even if she'll be okay again, it won't change anything..." Hotch became mad at himself again,

"Listen Haley, why don't you go back to bed? I doubt I'm going to be able to sleep and there's no point in it if both of us don't get any sleep tonight."

"No Aaron, if you stay up I'm going to stay awake as well."

"That's ridiculous, Haley, and you know that as well as I do. I'm going to come later - maybe..." He forced a smile onto his face and Haley got unwillingly up.

"Please get some sleep, honey..." Haley looked pleading at him, then she leaned down and kissed him softly before she turned around and went back to the bedroom.

Hotch only sighed once more.

_A few days later:_

Hotch couldn't help but smile sadly for a moment as he entered Elle's room. He knew he shouldn't be there, knew that he should be at home, but he just couldn't resist the temptation to spend his free weekend close to her.

As he sat down next to her bed and looked at her, taking her right hand into his own, he noticed once more how beautiful Elle was. And there was it again, that flash of guilt he felt ever since Garner had called that day and had told them that Elle was dead. Even though he knew now that she was going to be okay, he was also aware of the fact that he won't have been able to move on if she had died that day.

He had already realized that Elle meant a lot to him when he had interviewed her for the open position on his team, it was easy for him to recall that day, the memory still fresh like it had been just a week ago and not an entire year.

She had worn a red cami and blue jeans, her brown hair had framed her face in soft waves and on her lips she had worn the most beautiful smile he had ever seen, her eyes sparkling. It had been that very day that he had laid eyes on her...

That realization had hit him all of a sudden, like a bolt out of the blue, three days later when he had to admit to himself that he couldn't wait for the day that she was going to start working with the BAU, that he was actually missing her despite the fact that he didn't even know her.

He simply hadn't been able to keep ignoring the fact that Elle was invading his mind wherever he went, whatever he did - he just couldn't get her out of his head, in fact she was even following him into his dreams.

It wasn't like he had ever considered getting involved with her, after all, he was her supervisor and most important he loved Haley and Jack. Hotch knew that he could **never **hurt Haley like that - especially considering that he knew how much his dad's affairs had hurt his mother. He just could never cheat on Haley, couldn't betray her like that. And even if he ever stopped loving her, he would stay with her and Jack, too loyal to abandon his family because of another woman.

Sure he couldn't deny that he had feelings for Elle, but compared to what he still felt for his wife it was nothing. Maybe he was in denial about how deep his feelings for Elle were actually really running, but he had simply decided the day he had realized that he felt drawn to her that he had to forget about it, that he had to ignore those feelings.

Well, luckily it didn't seem like Elle had feelings for him, at least no romantic ones, which was good because it meant that he could work with her without worrying about it too much.

Hotch let out a frustrated sigh, he had hoped that his feelings for Elle would simply vanish with the passing of time, but instead he had to face the fact that they were actually growing.

God, he shouldn't even be at the hospital, Haley was waiting for him, but he couldn't help feeling the urge to be close to Elle, at least as long as she didn't wake up.

"Hotch..."

He turned around, surprised to hear someone's voice from behind.

"What are you doing here?"

Gideon stepped closer to him and stated,

"I wanted to talk with you. And well, the real question is - what are **you **doing here? I thought you've taken the weekend and wanted to spend some time with Haley and Jack."

"I did. But since when do I have to justify my actions, especially when I have my free weekend?" Hotch defended himself, frowning in irritation.

"Listen Hotch, Haley called and wanted to know where you are. I told her that you're probably already on your way home. You should really go and spend some time at home, instead of being here."

"Don't tell me what to do with my free time." Hotch glared at his colleague and friend,

"After all, it's none of your goddamn business what I'm doing!"

"Well, probably you're right, but you should nonetheless spend less time here at the hospital. Your presence here or the lack thereof won't change a thing about her condition."

"That's not the point. I'm here because I want to be there when she wakes up - and nothing you're saying is gonna change that, you got that?!"

"Fine, after all it's your choice."

A moment later Gideon left and Hotch focused his complete attention back on Elle. As he looked at her face a small smile crossed his own, coming to the conclusion that she probably wasn't in pain. However, all he wanted right now was that Elle would finally wake up.

He just couldn't stand feeling so helpless for much longer, he was totally exhausted, consumed by all his pain and guilt - and he knew that nothing could change that fact except of Elle...

Only her eyes, her smile could take away his pain, only her soothing voice could heal his wounds, and he knew that he won't get any real rest before she finally opened her eyes again.

Well, sure he got at least some sleep at night, but he was way too worried about Elle as that it would really help - not to mention all the nightmares he was having as soon as he had finally fallen asleep.

_Around midnight:_

As Hotch woke up he wasn't sure what had disturbed his sleep, except for the fact that it hadn't been because of a nightmare. Only a few seconds later he felt the small hand he was holding moving timidly in his own ones.

While his brain was still processing the possibility that this slight motion had woken him up, Hotch almost jumped as he started realizing what that timid movement actually meant. He straightened up, almost holding his breath, not capable of believing that Elle was finally waking up. Even when he saw her opening her eyes he couldn't help but think that he was still dreaming. But nonetheless a tiny smile appeared on his face as Elle looked at him.

"What are you doing here, Hotch?"

"Making sure that you're okay, I dunno... How are you doing?" Hotch felt worried again.

"I'm not sure, but I guess a bit better." Elle smiled softly at him,

"Have you been here all the time?"

Hotch thought for a few seconds then he replied honestly,

"Well, most of the time. What's the last thing you remember?"

"That you sent me home after I fell asleep in the round-table-room..."

Hotch flinched, hearing her mentioning the fact that he had sent her home.

"When I got home I decided to simply sleep on the couch instead of going to my bedroom and then that guy stood suddenly in front of me, pointing a gun at me and before I was able to react he pulled the trigger."

It pained him to see how her eyes welled up with tears. After a moment of silence she went on,

"He dragged me from the couch and as I was lying on the floor he leaned over me and went to one of the walls to write something onto it. When he was finished he took my gun, id and badge and left ... I guess I blacked out not much later."

"Well, luckily you managed to call 911. Otherwise you could have died..." Hotch stated sadly while they locked eyes.

"Did you catch him?"

He felt once more how his pain and guilt returned with all their force as he saw the fear in Elle's eyes.

"No, he killed himself..." He paused then he said in a low voice, which lacked its usual strength,

"God Elle, I'm so incredible sorry for what I've done."

Elle's facial expression softened.

"What do you mean, Hotch?"

"I sent you home that day - right into his trap..." Hotch let his head drop,

"You didn't even want to go, but I pulled rank and got you almost killed!"

"Come on, Hotch... You were just doing what you considered to be best for me. After all, I was totally worn out by that case, I could barely keep my eyes open - everybody knew that. If you hadn't sent me home Gideon or Morgan would have..."

"But it **was **me. And instead of bringing you at least home myself I asked Anderson to do it, even though I would have had the time to do it myself. I knew how dangerous this guy was and that he had our addresses, I knew that he was probably upset because Gideon had JJ hold that press-conference, but I didn't make sure that Anderson would stay at your place..."

"Hotch, look at me." Hotch lifted slowly his head and looked at Elle,

"Listen to me, **nobody **could have known that this would happen, so stop blaming yourself for this, okay? Please, Hotch."

"Why aren't you mad at me for what I let happen to you?" Hotch couldn't help his curiosity.

"Well, that's easy, it wasn't your fault. I have no reason for being mad and you have none for feeling guilty." Elle smiled reassuringly at him,

"Oh, and you should go home now and get some sleep - you look terrible..." Hotch couldn't fight the hurt her words caused, but remained silent,

"I bet Haley is already waiting for you, and I'll be fine even if you leave now. You don't need to worry, okay?"

"Alright. I'll be back soon."

Hotch knew that Elle was right so he got up, even though he would have prefered to stay.

While he was driving home he kept wondering why her words had hurt so badly. Was it because she didn't want him to stay? - Or was it actually because she had said that he looked terrible? At that thought Hotch couldn't help but shake his head in disbelief.

After all, that was totally ridiculous, right?

Hotch knew that Elle had just wanted to point out that it was obvious to her how exhausted he was, but nonetheless... Why did he even care about what she thought about his appearance?

He was married and he loved Haley more than anything else - so why did it matter so much to him?

As he arrived at home he let out an exhausted sigh and got out of his car. He just hoped that he could finally get some real, good sleep now that Elle had woken up.

_The next noon:_

Elle started wondering once more about why Hotch felt so guilty even though it hadn't been his fault. As she heard a soft knock against her door she looked up and smiled brightly.

"Hey..."

"Hey yourself. How are you, Elle?" Hotch walked further into the room and sat down on a chair next to her bed.

"I'm okay. What are you doing here? Don't you have to work?" Elle looked questioning at him, taking in his appearance and noting his casual attire.

"I took the weekend off."

"Why?"

"To spend some time with my family, to relax and check on you."

"You don't need to be here, you know that, don't ya? I mean, I'm glad that you're here, but you shouldn't spend your free weekend at the hospital."

"Yeah, maybe I really shouldn't be here... But I can't help it, I just want to make sure that you're really okay."

"I'm fine and I appreciate your concern as well as the fact that you're here right now, but only if you don't stay too long and spend the rest of the weekend with your family." Elle smiled at Hotch, yet her eyes were giving away that she was worried about him.

"Okay." Hotch agreed, knowing that Elle had a point there, he really should spend more time at home, but he simply couldn't help wanting to be close to her.

"You're okay, Hotch?" Elle asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"Yeah, I was just thinking."

"Does Haley know that you're here?"

"Of course she knows." Hotch replied without hesitation, but at the same time he heard a little voice telling him what he already knew - he was a bad liar.

But if Elle noticed that he had lied she wasn't showing it.

He had told Haley that he had taken the weekend off, but he hadn't mentioned that he was visiting Elle when he had left. A soft sigh escaped his mouth as he remembered how he had suggested to take care of the grocery shopping this time when Haley had told him that she wanted to leave.

So he had actually a reason for not staying too long at the hospital, not that this fact could change a single thing about that incredibly strong need to stay. However, he knew that Elle won't let him stay the entire day.

After a while they started talking about work and other stuff and Hotch was glad to see that Elle was really feeling better, that it wasn't just an act...

_Tbc_

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_**A/N:**__ Thanks for reading! Hope you're enjoying the story. Feedback would be very appreciated!_


	2. Silent tears

**Alive**

_1. Silent tears_

Elle sighed frustrated as she switched through the TV channels, finding nothing of interest.

It had already been a week since she had been released from the hospital and slowly she realized that she couldn't stand being in this place anymore. Even though the traces of what had happened had been removed by someone, the memory was never going to vanish from her mind.

The truth was, this was no longer her home, after all, a home was supposed to be a place where you felt safe, where you could relax - but since the attack she didn't feel safe in her apartment anymore and was always on edge.

She had nightmares every night, waking up screaming, bathed in sweat...

As she turned off the TV she started wondering if she should simply move into a different apartment considering that she most definitely had the necessary time to search for one.

Another sigh escaped her mouth, wondering what she should do with all her free time 'til she could get back to work...

She hated sitting around, doing nothing like this.

After a while Elle got up and went to take a shower, deciding to do some shopping afterwards.

While she was wandering through different stores, looking at clothes, sometimes taking something she liked to try on and deciding in most cases to buy it as well, Elle couldn't help but wonder what her colleagues were currently doing...

She missed work so much considering that it was a huge part of her life and what was defining her.

_Later that day:_

While Elle stared at the screen of her TV she couldn't help but think about how pathetic all of this was.

For a moment she let her eyes drift away from the movie and let them wander around, taking a look at all the shopping-bags, which she had dropped carelessly on the floor.

She simply wasn't one of those women who went shopping to satisfy some inner need or to forget about their problems, in fact she used to laugh about them, about their weakness.

Well, of course she loved shopping just like any other woman, but unlike others she always had a plan when going shopping.

One of the main reasons for that was probably that she had worked so much since graduating - and even during her time in college - that she had developed the habit of planning her shopping ahead, simply due to the lack of time for excessive shopping-sprees.

But today she had basically been bored to death so she had spent more money for clothes and other stuff than necessary.

Elle let out a sigh coming to the conclusion that she shouldn't feel bad about it.

When she focused her attention back to the movie Elle relaxed a bit again, after all, she would get back to work soon enough and 'til then she could busy herself with other stuff, like searching for a new apartment.

Just as Audrey Hepburn's character Holly Golightly started introducing Paul to her agent and other people she heard the door-bell ring.

_'Great, the pity parade is there...'_ Elle thought sarcastically and hurried to turn off the TV, before getting up and heading to open.

She put on a smile and opened the door, looking into the faces of Morgan, JJ, Garcia and Reid.

For a moment she thought about not letting them in, but then she simply stepped aside.

After she sat down again she noticed that all her colleagues, except of JJ, were carrying something.

"Don't ya think that's a bit too much food?"

"I tried telling them, but we just couldn't agree on one restaurant..." JJ explained.

Elle just stared for a moment at the two pizzas, and the Mexican and Chinese takeout, which covered now her coffee-table.

"Oh, you were shopping..." JJ said, after they had all sat down around the table.

Elle shrugged and replied,

"I was bored..."

"What did you buy?" Morgan asked, a huge grin plastered on his face, and reached for one of the shopping-bags which were lying closest to the spot where he was sitting on the carpet.

"Don't dare even thinking about looking inside that bag!" Elle snapped, glaring at her colleague.

"Alright." Morgan surrendered with a grin as Elle got up from the couch.

"Excuse me for a moment." With that she hurried grabbing the shopping-bags and carrying them away.

Morgan couldn't help but laugh.

_'God, why has he to be so nosy?' _For a moment Elle regretted that she had let them in.

A sigh escaped her mouth as she dropped the bags on her bed. When she left the bedroom she made sure to lock the door - just in case.

"So, whose idea was this?" Elle asked as she sat back down on the couch, grabbing a slice of pizza and taking a bite of it.

"Morgan came up with it when we got back from our case." JJ replied.

Elle just nodded, not the least surprised.

"You were watching 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' when we arrived here?" Morgan mumbled between a few bites of pizza, grabbing the case of the DVD and studying it.

A sigh escaped Elle's mouth and she said,

"Yeah... Like I told ya - I was bored. And furthermore it's one of my favorites." She paused for a moment, then she asked,

"So, how's work going?"

"It's a pain in the ass. Hotch lets us work one case after the other without a moment to relax!" Morgan stated angrily, a mad expression crossing his face.

"Don't you think that's a little harsh?" JJ tried.

"Come on JJ, you know damn well that I'm right... I mean, how many cases did we work on during the last two weeks? Eight?"

"Actually it were nine." Reid corrected, earning himself a not so happy glance from JJ,

"What? I just corrected Morgan."

"I can't even remember the last time I got more than four hours of sleep, let alone some time to relax - or to do the growing pile of paperwork for that matter!"

"There are simply a lot of urgent cases at the moment."

"You can tell that yourself, JJ. It's not like the BAU has only one team. What is he trying to prove with all of this anyway, huh?" Morgan paused for a few seconds to take a deep breath,

"First he barely shows up for work and now he pushes us to work every damn case!"

"How am I supposed to know the reason behind Hotch's actions?"

"If we keep this pace up there'll soon be no more cases to work on for us."

"That's statistically impossible." Reid objected,

"There will always be cases for the BAU to work on, due to the fact that violence, greed and cruelty are part of human nature."

Morgan glared at him for a moment and pointed out,

"Or somebody gets killed due to the lack of sleep. At any rate I bet he's currently already planning what case we're gonna work on next." A dark expression crossed his face.

"Well, actually I tried to drag him out of his office to come with us, but he declined and said he had still some paperwork to do and furthermore plans with Haley for tonight," JJ stated, hoping to make Morgan drop the topic.

_Half-past midnight:_

As Elle was lying awake in her bed she reflected on the events of the evening.

It had been nice to have some company, but she hadn't felt comfortable around her colleagues. Sure, she had smiled politely all evening, she had even laughed a few times when Morgan made a joke or told her about Reid's latest mishaps. She had listened intently when they filled her in on their latest cases...

But their visit didn't succeed in cheering her up.

Elle sighed, admitting to herself that she had been disappointed when she had opened the door and had looked into the faces of her colleagues.

The truth was, she had hoped for Hotch to visit her, but then again she had told him herself to worry not so much about her and spend more time with his family.

Not much later Elle fell asleep.

It didn't take long for her to start tossing around in her bed, being caught once more in a nightmare.

When she woke up screaming she was covered in sweat, struggling to catch her breath.

As she had regained control over her breathing Elle closed her eyes for a moment, telling herself that it had been just a bad dream, reminding herself that Garner was dead and that she was safe now.

However, the problem was she didn't feel safe in this place anymore.

She might have survived the attack, but she slowly started to realize that what had happened had damaged her quite badly - a part of her had died that day...

And she knew that there was only one person who could heal those wounds, who could bring her back to life completely, and that person was Hotch.

Elle still remembered how he had held her in a tight embrace when she had started crying during his last visit at the hospital.

She wished Hotch was there right now, holding her in his strong arms and telling her that everything was okay, that she really was safe now.

But she hadn't seen him since that day during his weekend off, he had also not called her since she had been released from the hospital.

Elle tried telling herself that he was just doing what she had asked for, but it didn't help against missing him.

She sat up and grabbed her cell phone, dialing a number.

But before pressing the call-button she changed her mind, after all, it was in the middle of the night and what should she say anyways? That she was terrified in her own home? That she had horrible nightmares as soon as she fell asleep? Or even that she needed him?

She simply couldn't do that...

Damn it, he was her boss, she couldn't call him in the middle of the night just because she had trouble sleeping. She couldn't admit to him how much it was still getting to her, if she did Hotch would never let her get back to work.

Only a moment later she felt how her eyes welled up with tears, but she knew that she won't let any of them fall.

Crying was for wimps...

Hell, she was an FBI agent with the BAU and she would be damned if she let this break her!

But when she thought once more about Hotch, Elle couldn't help letting a few silent tears escape her eyes.

_Tbc_


	3. Sleepless nights

**Alive**

_2. Sleepless nights_

Hotch sighed as he finished the last parts of his paperwork. He was so goddamn tired, but he also knew that if he tried to get some sleep he won't find it, so why should he waste time with it?

Another sigh escaped his mouth before he got up and started packing up his stuff. It was already quite late and Haley was waiting for him.

On his way home Hotch decided to take the time for a little detour and drove in the direction of Elle's home. When he arrived he parked right in front of the house and took a look at the windows.

For a few minutes he was torn between getting out of his car and ringing the door-bell to see Elle, and driving home without seeing her.

He knew that Morgan and his other colleagues were probably still there as well so it would be safe to leave the car and go to the door.

But he decided against it, just like earlier that evening when JJ had come to him to tell him that they were going to visit Elle.

Hotch had been extremely tempted to tag along, but decided that it was simply too dangerous to see her right now. Sure, he won't be alone with her, but sooner or later his colleagues would go home and he knew that he would probably stay. Fact was, he simply was way too aware of his feelings for Elle, even though he tried to deny it, to ignore and forget them, the bitter truth was he simply knew that all his efforts on this one were worthless - he was still totally incapable of keeping his feelings for her in check.

So he had declined and told JJ that he had plans with Haley, which was actually the truth.

Hotch closed his eyes for a moment; then he took another thoughtful glance at Elle's home, a sad expression crossing his face; before he drove off to get home to his wife.

Even though he longed to see his gorgeous subordinate he knew that he couldn't take that immense risk, the memory of the last time he had seen her still too fresh on his mind...

_**Flashback:**_

_Hotch knew that he should finally leave, do the grocery-shopping and get home, but he just couldn't bring himself to leave._

_Luckily Elle wasn't telling him to leave - at least not yet._

_So far they had talked about almost everything concerning work and other things._

_Every once in a while they remained silent for a few minutes, just enjoying the presence of each other._

_There had been so many times when she had been lost in thought and there had been nothing he had wanted more than reaching out and letting his fingers slide through her smooth hair, to caress her cheek..._

_But he had resisted that immense urge, knowing that it would be wrong to give in._

_However, once when they were sitting in perfect silence he had seen her eyes well up with tears so he had gotten up and sat down next to her on the bed, pulling her into a tight embrace._

_He wasn't sure what exactly caused her to cry, but it didn't matter that much - all that mattered was that he wanted to take her pain away._

_While he was holding her in his arms, inhaling that incredibly intoxicating scent of her, Hotch couldn't help but wishing he could hold her like this for the rest of his life._

_It took all his strength not to kiss her in that moment and even more to stop thinking about giving in to this extreme yearning for her._

_He knew that Elle had already been through enough, which was one of the most important reasons why he ignored his longing, he just couldn't bother her with his needs, couldn't show her how he felt about her - after all, they would have to work with each other again and he had a family..._

_**End flashback**_

Hotch was interrupted in his thoughts by the ringing of his cell phone.

After taking a glance at the caller's id he answered the call,

"Hey honey, I'm almost home..."

"Okay..." Haley replied softly and hung up.

He sighed, knowing that Haley was upset.

When he parked in the driveway of his home Hotch took a deep breath, grabbed his stuff from the passenger's seat and got out of his car.

While fumbling with his keys he started wondering what he should tell Haley as explanation for his lateness.

Well, he should probably simply tell her the truth - he had been stuck in his office with loads of paperwork, but on the other hand it was his own fault that he had currently so much paperwork to do, after all, it was him who was pushing himself and the entire team to work on almost every case that came in...

As he entered his house he put on a smile, hoping that Haley wasn't too mad at him.

Hotch looked around for a moment, when he couldn't find Haley in the living-room he went to the kitchen.

"Hey Haley." He stated softly, walking up to his wife.

"You're late." She pointed out and stared at him.

"I know and I'm so goddamn sorry. I had a lot of paperwork to do and I couldn't let it wait 'til tomorrow." Hotch explained.

"You shouldn't work so much, Aaron. I mean, you're barely at home and I know that you get almost no sleep." Haley said, a sad expression on her face.

He drew her into a tight embrace and gave her a soft kiss onto her forehead.

"I'm sorry..."

For a while they were just standing there like that, perfectly silent, then Haley suggested,

"Why don't we eat now and get some sleep afterwards?"

"Sounds good." He agreed and let go of her, forcing a smile onto his lips.

_Later that night:_

While lying in his bed, watching Haley sleep, Hotch's thoughts drifted off to Elle once again.

It was every night the same since he had first met her - or well, actually it got worse every night, especially since she had been shot.

After a while he got up and went downstairs.

First Hotch went to get something to drink from the kitchen before he took a seat on the couch in the living-room.

All he wanted was leave and see Elle, but of course he couldn't do that.

Elle would probably already sleep when he arrived there and he won't want to wake her up.

And even if she was still awake, what should he tell her when she asked him about the reason for his late-night-visit?

That he missed her? That he couldn't get her out of his head? Or even that he yearned incredibly much for her proximity?

He just couldn't do that. After all, he was her boss, he had a family...

Furthermore he couldn't risk showing Elle his feelings considering that those feelings were probably not mutual.

God, he wished he could simply forget about everything and be with her, but he couldn't and it was tearing him apart.

_Tbc_


	4. Confessions

**Alive**

_3. Confessions_

A sigh escaped Elle's mouth as she heard the door-bell ring. She had just moved into her new apartment and the place was still quite a mess and therefore she wasn't really feeling like having company.

Nonetheless she got up after a moment to see who it was. When she opened the door Elle wasn't that surprised to see Morgan standing in front of her.

"Hey ya!" He greeted, smiling cheerfully at her,

"Can I come in?" Elle hesitated for a while and he added,

"I promise I won't be nosy or anything."

Hearing that she couldn't help smiling then she stepped aside.

After she had closed the door Elle took a closer look at Morgan and offered, noticing how tired he seemed,

"You want some coffee?"

"Sure..." He replied, following her to the kitchen.

"So, Hotch gave you some time off?" Elle asked after some time, handing him a cup of the freshly brewed coffee.

"Nope. But when we got back from working on a case in Raleigh it was already too late to work on another case right away." Morgan stated angrily,

"I'm supposed to be back at the office at 7."

"Poor you. I would be damn happy if I could already work again."

"You gotta be kidding!"

"Not at all - I'm totally bored to death." Elle sighed frustrated.

"Trust me - you're lucky that you don't have to work."

"Come on, it can't be _**that**_bad."

"Oh yeah, it _**can**_! Believe me Elle, Hotch would make us work 24/7 without a single break if he could."

"I seriously doubt that. By the way, who gave you my new address?"

"Well, JJ told me about your move. That's why I dropped by, I thought you might need a helpful hand."

"You think I can't handle this myself?" Elle asked, giving him a challenging glance.

"Sure you can, but you've been shot and therefore you should take it slow. Plus, I like spending time with ya and if I can help you somehow I'd be happy to do so." Morgan replied a smirk on his face.

"Fine. If you insist, why not..."

They shared a smile.

_Around half-past midnight:_

While Elle was taking a sip of her coffee she felt Morgan's eyes on her. Surprisingly she didn't mind at all, on the contrary - she actually enjoyed the attention he was giving her a lot.

When she turned around her eyes met his intense gaze and she noticed the longing in his dark eyes.

Morgan made several steps toward her, closing the space between them. All the time, even when he had reached her and lifted his right hand to her face, his eyes never left hers.

For a while he just caressed softly her cheek, before he leaned in and kissed her tenderly.

It took only a short moment before Elle responded to his kiss, which became more and more passionate by every passing second.

As they broke the kiss after a felt eternity due to the lack of oxygen Morgan smiled at her and said quietly,

"I wanted to do that for quite a while now..."

He let the fingers of his right hand slide through her hair, then he started caressing her cheek again while his left hand remained on her hip.

Elle closed her eyes for a moment, simply enjoying his soft touch, then she looked at him and whispered,

"Morgan..."

"I know we've been quite good friends now for years and all, but I guess I've fallen in love with you..." He interrupted her, still speaking very quietly.

Elle just stared at him for a few seconds before she said in the same low voice,

"Morgan... I... I'm sorry, but I love someone else."

After a moment of silence he smiled softly at her.

"That's okay Elle, I mean, I didn't expect you to feel the same. But in the last time, ever since JJ told me that you've been shot, I started realizing that I need to tell you."

"I'm really sorry..." She repeated, looking at the carpet.

Morgan lifted softly her chin so he could look into her eyes.

"Listen Elle, you don't have to be sorry. It's okay, really. I mean, my feelings for you don't change the fact that you're one of my closest friends - nothing could change that, you got that?" He gave her a serious glance, a soft smile on his lips.

As he saw her nod he pulled her into a tight embrace. After a while she broke the comfortable silence and mumbled,

"I guess, you should better go now if you really have to get to the office that early."

"You're right." Morgan replied and let go of her.

When they had reached the front-door he turned once more to her and gave her a final kiss onto her forehead.

"Goodnight." And with that he was gone.

For a moment Elle just stared at the closed door, then she turned around and went to her bedroom. She knew she should get some sleep, but somehow she doubted that she was gonna get much of it.

When she lay in her bed her mind started racing once again. Morgan's confession had taken her by total surprise, but on the other hand they had always shared a flirtatious banter ever since they had first met back in their days as trainees in Quantico.

Elle just hoped that she had really not hurt him that much - after all, he was like her best friend and she most definitely didn't want to lose him.

A sigh escaped her mouth as her thoughts drifted off to the man she loved since she had first met him - but could never be with...

Elle wished she could call him and tell him how she felt about him, or ask him to come to her place, but of course she couldn't do that.

His heart already belonged to someone else, she knew that as well as that he was way too loyal to his family and by far too ambitious concerning his career as that they could ever be with each other.

_Tbc_


	5. Giving in to the temptation

_**Warning:**__ Chapter contains sexual content._

* * *

**Alive **

_4. Giving in to the temptation_

While Hotch was waiting for the door to open he kept wondering what he should tell Elle when she wanted to know the reason for his visit.

As the door finally opened he couldn't help but smile at her. God, he had missed her so much since he had seen her the last time.

"Hotch... What... What are you doing here?" Elle gave him a questioning glance.

"I was just wondering how you're doing." He replied as she stepped aside and let him in.

"You know, you could have called." She pointed out, smiling at him.

"But then I won't have been able to determine if you told me the truth."

"Why would I lie to you?"

"To make me let you get back to work sooner." Hotch gave her a serious glance.

"You know me too well." Elle grinned mischievously at him,

"You want some coffee?"

"Sure..."

Hotch watched how Elle went to her kitchen and decided to take a seat on the couch.

When Elle returned, handing him a mug of coffee before sitting down next to him, she gave him another gorgeous smile.

"So, how are you?" Hotch finally asked.

They locked eyes for a while and Elle told him,

"I'm okay, well, beside the fact that I'm basically bored to death."

"You can't come back to work yet." He stated firmly, even though he wished he could let her already work again.

Elle sighed heavily.

"I know..."

"You should try to enjoy the time away from work." Hotch suggested after a moment of silence.

"How am I supposed to enjoy being stuck at home?" She gave him a challenging glance.

"Do something you can't do when you have to work."

"Like what?"

"Shopping, sports, a day at a spa..." Hotch shrugged and added,

"I dunno, after all, how am I supposed to know what you enjoy doing when you don't work?"

"I would prefer working." Elle stated frustrated, before changing the topic,

"So, how are you doing?"

"I've already been better." He admitted.

"What's wrong?" A concerned expression crossed Elle's face.

Hotch sighed while lifting his hand to brush a strand of hair out of her face, before starting to caress softly her cheek. Elle closed her eyes for a moment, when she opened them again they showed a softness he had never seen in them before.

"I miss you so much..." He muttered just above a whisper after a minute or two.

"I miss you as well. God Hotch, you have no idea of just how much I'm missing you." Elle whispered in return, her eyes welling up with tears.

A small, reassuring smile appeared on his face and Hotch told her,

"Well, I'm here now." After a moment he leaned in, kissing her softly.

When he broke the kiss he gave her a careful glance, trying to read in her face what she was thinking. He was aware of the fact that he shouldn't have done this considering that he had a family and was furthermore her boss, however, it wasn't like he hadn't tried to ignore his feelings for her, right? But it was pointless, he just couldn't fight against it for the rest of his life, now could he? It was just inevitable...

A sigh escaped his mouth as his thoughts were racing. He was still caressing her cheek, hoping that she wasn't mad, that she won't tell him to leave. It took only a moment before his eyes wandered back to her lips, which were just merely an inch away, but he forced himself not to kiss her again.

He needed to be sure that Elle wanted the same, yet he didn't trust his voice enough to ask. All he could do was hoping that she would give him an answer nonetheless.

Just as the silence was getting too much for him Elle closed the small space between their faces. Hotch wasn't even sure how much time had passed since he had kissed her, but to him it felt like it had been an eternity. He wanted this moment to last forever, knowing that he had already crossed the line and that there was no turning back anymore.

As their kiss turned more and more passionate he pulled her up from the couch. He could feel her smile against his lips when he wrapped his arms around her, drawing her closer to him, deepening their kiss even further in the process.

After a short moment Elle started leading him to her bedroom. He felt her hands wander up his chest before she undid his tie, letting it fall to the ground. Only a few seconds later she took off his jacket and started undoing the buttons of his shirt.

When they had reached the bedroom-door Hotch lifted her red camisole, breaking their kiss for a short moment to pull it over her head.

She pulled off his shirt, dropping it carelessly to the ground. As she reached her bed she let her hands roam over his chest, sitting down on the bed.

A moment later she leaned back onto her bed, while he took off the t-shirt he had been wearing beneath his shirt, before bending down and giving her a hungry kiss.

Elle grabbed his hands and pulled him down onto her and he couldn't help but smile. God, he had wanted this for so long...

After some time he started trailing kisses down the side of her neck, before he let his lips brush over her collar bones. Elle let her head fall back, her eyes closed, winding her hands into his hair.

As he started to kiss his way down to her belly she let her hands fall to either of her sides, and his smile widened as he heard her moan softly.

While painting her stomach with featherlike kisses he undid the button and zipper of her jeans. A few seconds later he straightened up, pulling the tight jeans down her legs.

Elle opened her eyes looking at him, a soft smile on her lips. For a moment he just looked down at Elle, letting his eyes wander over her, before he knelt down on the bed between her legs and returned his lips to hers, while she placed her hands on his neck, drawing him closer.

It didn't take long before he felt her hands wander down his sides, and a moment later Elle started unbuckling his belt.

After another short time he moaned against her lips as one of her hands brushed against his arousal when she started pulling his pants down.

Unsure of how much longer he would be able to take this he broke their kiss to help Elle getting rid of his pants. Meanwhile she sat up and used the time he needed to discard his boxers to undo the clasp of her bra, dropping it to the floor.

Kissing her passionately again he let his hands wander slowly from the back of her neck, over her perfect breasts and stomach to the rim of her panties and pulled them down.

He broke their kiss once more and gave her a questioning glance. When he saw her smile he entered her, careful not to hurt her. After a moment Hotch started thrusting into her at a slow pace.

Knowing how close he already was he forced himself to hold back, wanting to come together with Elle. Just as he felt he couldn't stand it any longer...

"Aaron."

"Aaron?"

"AARON?!"

Hotch jolted up, his eyes wide open while his mind was racing.

_'Guess, this was just too wonderful to be real...' _He thought as he got aware of his surroundings.

Apparently he must have looked extremely puzzled because a moment later he heard his wife ask,

"Are you okay, honey?"

When he turned to look at her he saw how concerned she seemed and frowned, wondering if she knew...

Another short time passed and he forced himself to reply,

"Eh, yeah... I'm fine just a very vivid dream..." As he said that he prayed to God that Haley won't notice how aroused he was, which would only lead to more questions - questions he didn't want to have to answer.

_Tbc_


	6. Knight in shining armor

_**A/N:**__Here's the final of the reposted chapters. Have fun reading!_

* * *

**Alive**

_5. Knight in shining armor_

After almost ten weeks of doing nothing - which inevitably led to her mind drifting off to what had happened over and over - Elle had reached a point where she expected a complete nervous breakdown just around the corner.

Sure, it had been a little easier while she had been looking for a new apartment and during the whole moving phase - nothing was better to distract you than examining one apartment after the other and listening to the endless stream of words coming from real estate agents, landlords and other people who wanted to make you pick their apartment to live in, not to mention the entire packing once you had found a nice apartment, the renovating, the actual move and then the _joy_ of unpacking and putting everything in its place!

However, eventually she had been done unpacking and making herself at home in her new apartment and the boredom had returned and with it the psychological torment. Because seriously, there was only so much of afternoon talk shows and soap operas you could watch before feeling the urge to grab the next best hard object and throw it at the TV screen - or take a heavy hammer and smash the thing into pieces. Though of course that won't be a solution for the problem, because then the boredom would only get worse due to losing a way to distract yourself...

Probably she could deal with the boredom if that was her biggest problem, but of course it wasn't. No, what was really getting to her were the dreams. The nightmares. Nightmares of _**that**_ day. Of that entire case. Of Garner's game. Of getting home to her apartment, barely able to keep her eyes open, deciding to crash right on the couch and then facing the muzzle of a gun pointed at her head right in her living-room. Of the sound of a gunshot, the searing pain in her chest as the bullet pierced her skin. Being dragged from the couch to the middle of the room. The feeling of Garner's fingers in the wound...

Oh, and those weren't even all the nightmares she had! No, of course not... After all, why should your mind only torment you with just one problem or trauma, if it could instead haunt you with every little thing that had bothered you one time or another? Her mind at least had decided to drag simply _**everything**_ it could possibly find from the back most corners of her subconscious and torment her with it - her father's death, the worst cases she worked on... The list was seemingly endless.

Elle shuddered at all the painful memories, pushing them quickly away. Only a few seconds later she groaned in frustration as the act of pushing those memories away made room for other thoughts, because as if her boredom, nightmares and the entire emotional and psychological aftermath of what had happened wasn't enough there was another rather big problem of a whole different kind bothering her and had been since she had woken up at the hospital and had started struggling with insomnia, though it had worsened throughout the past three or so days.

As her mind drifted off to that night when Morgan had come over to help her unpacking, to how he had kissed her and told her that he had fallen for her a heavy sigh escaped her. It was already bad enough if you fell in love with a man who was totally off limits, but it didn't exactly make anything better to find out that your best friend was in love with you - especially when that friend was furthermore a colleague of yours.

Hearing some kind of noise she snapped out of her thoughts. Glancing around the bar she released a heavy sigh.

As she saw the bartender looking her way she motioned for him to come over. Once he had reached her she ordered herself another drink. The young man nodded and while he went to get her order Elle got lost in her thoughts again.

When the bartender returned and put a glass down on the counter in front of her she smiled and thanked him. He returned the smile, gave a nod and then went to take care of some other customers.

_Some time later:_

Elle wasn't sure how much time had passed when a male voice disturbed her in her thoughts. Looking up she saw a tall, dark-haired man standing next to her.

He smiled at her and asked,

"Can I buy you a drink?"

She thought for a moment, studying his face. There was something about him, about his eyes, that caused a warning bell to go off in her mind. However, ignoring what her instincts told her she gave him a slight smile and nodded. The guy's smile widened and as the bartender came their way he said,

"A martini and one more of what this lady is having."

Elle suppressed a chuckle at him calling her a lady, she was definitely not a lady, in fact she was far from being one.

As their drinks arrived the guy smiled at her, lifting his glass and said,

"Cheers."

Elle smiled, lifting her own glass and took a sip of her drink.

Putting his glass down he smiled once again and told her,

"I'm James."

"Elle." She replied with a smile.

She couldn't deny that he was handsome, but he was definitely not her type, not to mention that her heart already belonged to someone else. And then there was that warning voice in her head, the fact that her intuition was telling her to get up and leave... Yet she didn't just not stop him from flirting with her, but flirted also back, enjoying the distraction from her troubles. After all, the man she loved was totally off limits for her, so why shouldn't she enjoy someone else's attention? And if she was honest she liked the sense of danger, liked the thrill, the adrenaline running through her veins at the possibility that it was really a bad if not even self-destructive idea...

* * *

After they had closed yet another case - this time it had been a serial rapist in a small town in Iowa - Hotch had been so generous to give them all the following day off so they could get some rest. Morgan suspected that Gideon had somehow talked some sense into their boss, though he certainly won't complain about it either way.

Once he'd been done with most of his paperwork and had started getting ready to leave he had decided to first have some drinks before heading home.

Entering the bar he let out a heavy sigh. As grateful as he was for having finally a day off he had to admit that the joy about it had a bitter taste to it. The truth was ever since that night he had visited Elle he had barely been able to focus, his mind constantly drifting off to Elle. He couldn't deny that he was wondering if it had been such a good idea to reveal how he felt to her, after all, they were going to have to work with each other again once she was cleared for the field by her doctor and he was more than just a little concerned about the consequences his revelation might have on their working-relationship.

Heading further inside he let out another sigh. As he neared the bar-counter he froze, catching sight of a familiar brunette sitting at the counter. For a short moment he wondered about whether he should head over to her or not, but before he could make up his mind he realized that she wasn't alone - she was talking with some guy, sitting next to her, a sly grin on his face. He considered the possibility that this was the guy she had been talking about, however, eventually he came to the conclusion that it wasn't, he didn't seem like her type...

_But then again, what is her type?_ He couldn't help wondering at that thought, couldn't help wondering how he was supposed to know. After all, he loved Elle and maybe it was just his jealousy which didn't allow him to accept what he was seeing.

After another moment of observing Elle he released a heavy sigh and started walking again, though he changed course and simply headed over to a vacant table in a corner of the bar.

Once he had taken a seat it didn't take long before his gaze returned to Elle, being incapable of keeping himself from observing her, all the while asking himself why he was doing this to himself, why he was torturing himself by watching the woman he loved flirting with somebody else.

_Some time later:_

Morgan wasn't sure how much time had passed when Elle got up and started dancing. He kept his eyes on her, just watching her dance, a small smile appearing on his face.

However, a couple of minutes later his smile faded and was replaced by first a frown and then an alarmed expression when he noticed that Elle was swaying sligthly as if her legs weren't entirely steady, and looking at her face he couldn't help but think that she also seemed a little dazed. This was all the more concerning in his opinion considering that he knew that Elle never drank enough to actually get intoxicated, let alone enough to have trouble to move steadily.

Therefore Morgan got without much thinking up and, after putting some money on his table to pay his drinks, went over to Elle.

When he had reached her he lifted his right hand to her shoulder and said her name, causing her to stop dancing and turn to look at him.

"Morgan?" Elle asked surprised, "What are you doing here?"

"Originally I came here to get some drinks, but now I think it would be best if I take you home." Morgan replied, a serious expression on his face.

"Why's that?" Elle wanted to know.

Morgan sighed,

"Cause I wanna make sure you get home safely."

At that Elle gave him a look.

"I think that guy spiked your drink." Morgan pointed out, meeting her eyes. Seeing Elle frown he added,

"You can barely keep yourself on your feet without swaying and your eyes are glassy. And I know you're hardly ever getting drunk."

"You won't let it drop, will ya?" Elle asked, knowing how stubborn Morgan could be.

Morgan only gave her a look in response.

Elle let out a heavy sigh,

"Fine... Just let me pay my drinks, okay?"

Morgan nodded in agreement, watching as she turned to head back to the counter and a moment later he followed her. Once they had reached the bar-counter Elle pulled out some money and paid her drinks.

"Ready?" Morgan asked a moment later.

Elle rolled slightly her eyes but nodded.

"Good, let's go." Morgan stated, placing his left hand on her upper back and starting to head toward the door.

They had just left the bar and walked a few feet away from the building when someone grabbed his shoulder, stopping him and turning him slightly around, before punching him into the gut.

Quickly recovering from the blow Morgan muttered,

"Big mistake!" With that he hit the guy in the face.

After a short fight Morgan punched the guy, sending him to the ground. Looking down at him, eyes narrowed, Morgan stated, a trace of a threat in his voice,

"You better get lost before I call the cops and have you arrested for assaulting a federal agent."

Hearing that the guy got quickly to his feet and scurried away. Morgan watched him head down the street until he disappeared around a corner, before focusing back on Elle.

"You're okay?" Elle asked after a moment of silence, glancing at Morgan, a concerned expression on her face.

Morgan smirked and replied,

"Yeah, I'm fine, Elle. Don't worry."

Elle frowned slightly, eyeing him carefully, but remained silent.

"Come on, let's go." Morgan stated, starting to lead her to his car.

Once they had reached the car Morgan unlocked it and opened the door at the passenger side for Elle, waiting for her to get in, before closing the door again and walking around the car to get into the driver's seat.

_At Morgan's place, about twenty-five minutes later:_

The ride from the bar passed in perfect silence, both of them lost in their own thoughts. Every once in a while Morgan glanced over to Elle, who had rested her head against the window to her right, her eyes closed, but he could tell by the sound of her breathing that she was awake.

After he had parked in front of his home and turned the engine off Morgan turned to look at her again. For a moment he just studied her face, eventually he broke the silence.

"Elle?" He said softly, reaching for her shoulder, when she opened her eyes and looked at him he continued,

"We're there."

At that Elle gave a slight nod and unbuckled the seat-belt. When she turned and reached for the door-handle to get out of the car Morgan followed suit. Heading around the car and toward the sidewalk he saw Elle waiting for him.

Once he had reached her he led her to the front-door, pulling out his keys on the way, before quickly unlocking the door. After entering his home he stepped aside to let Elle in and turned on the light, then he quickly closed the door before leading Elle to the couch.

Making her sit down he said,

"I'll be right back."

Seeing Elle give a slight nod he turned and headed to his bedroom. As he entered the room Clooney got up from the folded blanket on which he usually slept and came toward him. Morgan crouched down, patting the dog's head, before straightening up and walking over to his closet to get Elle something she could wear for the night.

Opening the closet he quickly grabbed a clean navy-blue t-shirt from one of the upper shelves, before bending down a bit and rummaging the shelf below for a pair of slacks. A moment later a triumphant smile crossed his face when he found what he was looking for stuffed in the back of the shelf. Grabbing the pair of dark sweat pants he straightened up and shut the closet doors and went to the adjacent bathroom.

Once inside he put the t-shirt on the rim of the bathtub. As he was about to fold the pair of sweat pants he frowned slightly. Even though they were too small for him, due to having shrunk when he last washed them - which was also why they had ended up stuffed in the back of his closet, he wasn't quite sure if they were going to fit Elle. Eventually he shook his head, folded the pants and put them down on the rim of the bathtub as well, before turning around and walking over to the door.

When he had reached the door and opened it he ushered Clooney out of the room, shutting the door behind him, and headed back to the living-room.

As he approached Elle and noticed her droopy eyelids a concerned frown appeared on his face. When he had reached her he bent slightly down and said,

"Elle?"

Elle lifted her head to look at him, having trouble to keep her eyes open, and gave him a questioning glance.

"Come, you need to get some sleep." Morgan stated, stretching his hand out.

Elle gave a slight nod and taking his hand she got up. The moment she was standing everything around her started spinning and she squeezed her eyes shut.

Seeing that Elle had trouble staying on her feet Morgan wrapped his left arm around her waist.

Feeling Morgan putting one of his arms around her Elle opened her eyes and gave him a questioning glance.

As he saw the questioning expression on her face he smiled and said,

"Let's get you to bed." With that he started leading her away from the couch and down the hallway which led to the bedroom.

Entering the room he stopped after a few steps and told her,

"I put clothes you can wear in the bathroom." He pointed at an open door and seeing her nod he left.

Watching Morgan leave Elle yawned softly, then she padded into the bathroom. After closing the door she walked further into the room, immediately seeing the navy-blue t-shirt and dark sweat-pants, which were lying over the rim of the bathtub.

Elle quickly took off her shoes before reaching for the rim of her shirt. After taking off her shirt Elle turned slightly around and put it onto the rim of the bathtub. Straightening up she reached for the button of her jeans, before undoing it along with the zipper and pulling the jeans off. Once she had taken them off she turned toward the bathtub and put the jeans down on the rim as well. Then she reached behind herself and unclasped her bra, taking it quickly off before grabbing the t-shirt from the rim of the bathtub and pulling it over her head. A moment later she reached for the sweat-pants and tried them on, but quickly realized that they were too big so she pulled them off again and put them back on the rim of the bathtub.

Once she was done changing she turned back around and just looked at her reflection in the mirror over the sink for a moment, before lifting her hand and running her fingers through her hair. A moment later she headed to the door and back into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Heading over to the bed she let out a soft yawn and quickly laid down. She had just pulled the sheets over herself when Morgan came into the room. Sitting back up she saw that he was carrying a tea-pot and a cup. Watching him put both down on the nightstand next to her she got momentarily lost in her thoughts, before muttering,

"Thanks."

"No problem, Elle." Morgan stated, smiling at her, then he added,

"Goodnight."

"Morgan?" Elle spoke up just as he was about to leave, causing him to turn back to look at her.

"Yeah?" Morgan asked, giving her a questioning glance.

"Where are you going to sleep?" Elle asked, her voice sounding rather drowsy.

Morgan smirked and replied,

"On the couch."

Hearing that Elle frowned and got up. Walking over to him she stated,

"You don't have to go."

Watching her approach Morgan smiled and told her,

"Elle, it's fine, I don't mind."

Stopping in front of him Elle shook her head and pointed out,

"Morgan, this is your home, you shouldn't sleep on the couch because of me. As comfy as it is, you won't be able to get any real rest sleeping on the couch and it would certainly not be good for your back." Meeting his gaze she lifted her hands, resting them on his chest, and added,

"Besides I don't mind you being here." She smirked at him and a moment later she leaned up and kissed him.

Taken by complete surprise Morgan remained perfectly motionless for a split second or two before he started kissing her back. Wrapping his left arm around her waist, while winding the fingers of his right hand into her hair, he drew Elle closer, deepening the kiss.

As they broke the kiss some time later in need of oxygen they locked eyes. Morgan moved his right hand to her face, caressing for a moment her cheek, before brushing a strand of hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear.

At Morgan's tender caress Elle's eyes flew momentarily shut, just enjoying his touch. Opening her eyes again she met Morgan's gaze and they shared a smile.

When Morgan leaned down, claiming her lips in a hungry kiss, Elle kissed him back, forcing herself not to think about what she was doing - or the consequences - and just enjoy the moment.

As the kiss became more and more passionate Elle started tugging impatiently at his shirt, causing him to smile against her lips. Moving to take the t-shirt off he broke their kiss for a moment so he could pull it over his head.

Quickly discarding the t-shirt Morgan kissed her again. Feeling how Elle let her hands run over his chest he closed momentarily his eyes. However, only a moment later he opened his eyes again and pulled away.

"This is a bad idea, Elle."

At that Elle looked at him, frowning slightly, and raising an eyebrow she asked,

"Why?"

Morgan sighed,

"Because I'm not the one you want."

Stepping closer to kiss him again Elle opened her mouth to disagree, but then remained silent and stopped, knowing he was right.

"I mean, you know that it's not that I don't want you, but I don't want to mess up our friendship. Besides, you're drunk and who knows what that guy put in your drink... I would feel like I took advantage of the situation." Morgan told her, and a moment later he added,

"And well, I'm pretty sure you could use some sleep."

Elle let out a low sigh but nodded in agreement, turning to head back over to the bed.

Morgan watched her. When she had laid down he stated,

"Goodnight."

Just as he was about to leave Elle spoke up, causing him to stop and turn back to look at her.

"Morgan..." As they locked eyes she muttered quietly,

"Stay."

He noticed the need in her voice as she said that one word, the pain, and saw the pleading expression in her eyes, making refusal almost impossible, so he told her,

"Okay... I just go and change, I'll be back in a minute."

Hearing that Elle relaxed slightly, a relieved smile appearing on her face. A moment later Morgan left and she laid down, turning around she curled slightly up.

Elle was already on the best way to fall asleep when Morgan came back into the bedroom a few minutes later.

As he returned to the bedroom after changing clothes Morgan could barely suppress a yawn. Only a moment later he pulled the sheets slightly back. Sitting down on the edge of the bed he put his cell phone on the nightstand before lying down. After pulling the blanket over himself he turned toward Elle and after a moment of hesitation he put his right arm loosely around her.

A few minutes later Elle turned toward Morgan and looked at him. For a moment they locked eyes then he said quietly,

"You should really try to get some sleep, Elle."

When Elle nodded slightly in response he drew her closer, causing her to close her eyes and lean her forehead against his chest.

After some time Morgan turned onto his back, and as Elle snuggled closer and rested her head and left hand on his chest he put his left arm around her waist.

Feeling how Elle relaxed as she drifted off to sleep a relieved expression crossed Morgan's face, being glad that she was getting some rest, and tried to get some sleep as well.

However, despite being so exhausted by all the recent work and the resulting lack of sleep it took him unusually long to find to sleep. If he was honest with himself he also knew the reason for that. The truth was that being so close to Elle made it hard to get his mind to calm down enough to drift off to sleep.

Maybe it would have been wiser to insist on sleeping on the couch, considering that Elle's close proximity caused his mind to race. He couldn't stop thinking about the night at Elle's apartment when he had told her how he felt about her, and then there was what happened this evening... He tried his best to push all of it aside, but found it almost impossible, especially with Elle lying in his arms.

He wasn't quite sure how much time had passed when his exhaustion eventually got the better of him and he fell asleep.

_Tbc_

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_**A/N:**__ Thanks for reading! I hope you liked this chapter. I dunno when I'll be able to post an actual update, but hopefully it will be soon. In the meantime please leave a lot of feedback on this chapter!_


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